majora's mask gone HORRIBLY WRONG!
by steve-o the ninja
Summary: Steve-o the ninja is revived, and comes with new chapters! with actuall literacy!rnle gasp Enjoy. R for swearing, and wild...well, nvm.
1. THE BEGININGNESS!

The legend of Zelda: Majora's mask (the weird version)

Beginning(dark stuff thing looking like midnight with words on it appear)

Blah Blah blah, random intro words that no one gives a shit about, and everyone wants to skip the non-skip able cutscene and play the fuxxing game. Whatever

Haneyways.

(Woods appear with link riding on a black horse)

Link: ......

Me: shut up link.

Link: ......!!!!

Me: Epona is dead! You sent her to the glue factory to get a free bottle of glue, just to paste pictures of Malon and Zelda in your scrap book.

Link: Oo

Me: Whatever.

Continues to ride through the woods. 2 faeries appear in front of the black horse

Black horse:neighs(stomps on faeries)

Me: YOU STUPID HORSE!!! THOSE WERE OUR BEST ACTORS!!!!!!

Black horse: Oo

Me: Damn you all and your emoticons!

Link: ........

Me: Shut up you Kenny imposter and get some speech lessons.

2 hours later

(the faeries appear in casts)

green one: twinkle

me: alright link! Why does that fairy look like a patch of your clothes?

(cloth falls off of fairy)

me: smacks headthis is gonna take longer then I thought.

now yello fairy: why does this stuff happen.

me: cuz I'm cursed now shut up before I start to.

purple fairy: Why haven't I talked?

Me: you just did....NOW THE THE FUXX ON WITH YOUR DAMN ACTING, YOU IDIOTS! THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE! YOU CAN'T GET JOBS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY....I HAVE NO FUXXING CLUE WHY I HIRED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!11111

Link: ...? O.o

Me: mumbles freakregular Listen, If u do this, then you will become famous

Link: -

me:cough Ja right.

Link....

Me: I said...you're right

(continues to ride. Fairies scare horseabout time)

horse: neighs(arches back and link fall out and is knocked out)

(skull kid appears wearing a jack-o-lantern on his head)

me: smacks self in head what is up with this? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

Skull kid: ???

Me: WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOUR MASK???

Skull kid: Well, Link is gonna kick my ass anyways, so I pawned off the mask..

Me: I'll pwn you....

Skull kid: so ja, I went through that portal where the happy mask salesman goes through after my ass is kicked, and just sold him the damn thing....before hand...so we're all happeh!

Me :well get it BACK!!!!!!

Skull kid: WELL SOR-R-R-Y.I DON'T WANT MY BUTT TO BE KICKED. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SWORD SLICED THROUGH YOU A COUPLE 100 TIMES?

Me: It happened. Here's how to get the mask back EASY. go to the first cartridge and confront the happy mask sales man. He's in the castle.

3 days later

s. kid: brought it back. I had to wreak havoc and now I have a worse reputation.

me: you never had one you freak.

s. kid: you weren't supposed to no that

me: I'm not stupid.

s. kid: coughright..

Me: kill him now link.

S.Kid: slayed

All: ....???

Me: Are you all still here?

Link : .....!!!

Me: Shut up link. ALL OF YOU CONTINUE!!!

(still continues)

Link: looks around and shrugs

me: wait, link You're supposed to be knocked out!!! wallops him with a mallet

me: now hurry up skull kid

s. kid: you fairies did great. Hehe. (shakes link)

s. kid: would you look at that. a cell phone?

Me: LINK WAKE UP!!!!

(link wakes up)

me: link, tell us why you have a cell phone.

Link: ..................................................................breathe. ..........

Me: let me get this strait, you threw your ocarina into a fire because you were cold in the cardboard box you live in?

Link: ....

Me: that's about right, eh? THEN HOW DID YOU AFFORD THE FRAGGIN CELL PHONE?!?!?!?!?!?!

Link: ....

Me: you found $80 on the ground? What happened to all that money you got from the previous games?

Link: .....

Me: Charity? WHAT THE FUXX HAVE THEY DONE FOR US?

Link: .......

Me: They did not buy you a Cadillac! ...unless you mean the pink one under your skirt! You should have gotten some new clothes!

link: .....

me: yes you do look like a girl.

Link: .....

Link: NO YOU'RE NOT A PRETTY ONE!!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A TRANSEXUAL!!!

Link:.......

Me: sure we can get the skull kid 2 get another ocarina from saria.

s. kid: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Me: you heard us

s. kid: fuxxing hellz

s. kid: wut r u gonna do wile I'm gone?

Me: listen to some children of bodom, and headbang till my hair falls out.

s. kid: ???

me: your still here? GO ALREADY!!!!! Fore I give you a royal beat down

s. kid: fine(leaves)


	2. THE EVILNESS!

(12 moths after the first part of Majora's mask) Disclaimer: I don't really own anyone and I'm thinking of putting my own characters in here for kicks :P. But luckily, during the delay, I put link into speech class so he knows how to talk. It was a long walk :P. now you can under stand him though. And we miraculously rescued epona. It seems they were bidding her off cuz she was so popular(I spent my 5 mo. Allowance to get her back) LINK YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!!!  
  
Link: Nuh-uh.  
  
(skull Kid comes back)  
  
S.K.: I'm finally back.  
  
Link: About time. I actually have the ability to talk now.  
  
Me: HALLE LUYA. A MIRACLE HAS COME TO US ALL!  
  
Link: Shut up.  
  
Me: NOW CAN WE GET ON?  
  
S.K.: Ya sure.  
  
(Hands link the ocarina, knocks him out with a mallet and takes it back)  
  
Link: @_@  
  
S.K.: OoOoO. look at this ocarina.(starts playing it)  
  
Tael: ...  
  
I SED Tael: .  
  
Me: oh god. WHERE IS TAEL.  
  
(Tael and Tatl fly in with cappuccino)  
  
Both: What  
  
Me: It's your turn to talk Tael  
  
Tael: huh? Oh yea right  
  
Tael: hey skull kid. Lemme try it.  
  
S.K.: No.  
  
Tatl: It's his Tael. Let him try it.  
  
Tael: don't forget Tatl, it was me and you who helped him get it. If it wasn't for us, he wouldn't have it.  
  
Tatl: well so wh-. wait. You're right. GIVE IT TO US SK  
  
Sk: nuh-uh. It's mine  
  
Me: (shrugs) at least it aint to far from the plot :S  
  
Link: (still @_@)  
  
Me: any time link. We're waiting.  
  
Link: @_X  
  
Me: *smacks self in head* FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!*throws water on Link*  
  
Link: Huh, Wha? I'm up. HEY!U FREAKING THING!GIMME BACK MY OCARANIA!!!  
  
SK: (Jumps on Epona) C'mon Faeries!  
  
Both: no  
  
Me: grr.. it's my fault I didn't get mad at that point when they revolted. GO YOU STUPID NO BRAINED-ZARKIN-BAKA-GIRLY THINGS!!!!  
  
Both: Make us  
  
Me: (takes out flyswatter and give them threatening looks)  
  
Both: WAIT UP SKULL KID!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: HeHe  
  
Link: *jumps on epona and holds on for dear life.then falls off when he gets to a bunch of stumps  
  
Me: funny how they're each about the right size for link to jump on, and they lead to a tunnel  
  
Link: Whatever Steve.  
  
Me: Just jump AND DON'T SAY MY REAL NAME!!! THE PREPS CAN HEAR!!!!  
  
Link: Kay.*jumps and goes through the tunnel. Gets at the end and falls* AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Me: You baby.  
  
Link: :P aub!*tounge goes over face cuz he goes too fast down.  
  
(Link falls on the solid ground)  
  
Link: AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH MY @$$.  
  
(Links mother comes in)  
  
Mother: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN!  
  
Link: God mom. Your not the boss of me anymore. I'm about 8 now and. AREN'T U SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD?!?!?[you have to see ocarina of time]  
  
Mom: Who cares*pulls him by his ear  
  
Link: OoO OWW MO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-M  
  
Me: Wait. Mrs. Link's mom person. argh. He's our best actor. Stay tuned PPL. We need our actor back  
  
(Plantumbreon chases Link's mom) 


	3. THE FREAKYNESS!

(plantumbreon goes over to link's cabin place thingy)

Me: link. we need you back in the show.

Link: okey-dokey.

(both go back to set)

Me: Now start

Link: did I mention my butt still hurts?

Me: Who cares? Go skull kid.

Random Announcer: And now, all the way from the lost woods..introducing...SKULL KID!

spot lights

SK: WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THAT DANG HORSE? I DON'T LISTEN TO CRUD I SAY! IT THREW ME OFF ITS BACK!!! Now I have a boo-boo (

Me: shut up whiner.

Link: don't make me go Lenore on yo butt SK.

SK: eep. anyways.so I made the better of it. Hehe.

Link: Looks surprisednot. Epona cry

SK: Now for yougoes into a phase and this blue glowing web like thingy circles around him.

Link: goes into a trance and sees a bunch of deku scrubs surrounding him. He starts slashing at all of them and they all fall victim to his evilness

Link: high pitched voices of incredible stupidity

Link: You killed Epona.stares at skull kid

SK: looks back with fear in his eyes

Link: are you quite done yet? I thought u were gonna beat me

Me: LINK YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!YER SUPPOSED TO SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: You think that the almighty blonde one is gonna lose to a deku scrub? Get real!! Have you gone insane?!?!?!?!?

Me: shut up before I go over there and wup yer ass

Link: EEP runs away

SK: Do you really need me?

Me:no yer just here for comic relief

SK: oh. Ok then.HEY!

Link: I'm ready to get turned into a scrub

Me: loser you've always been one

Link: shut up you freak!

SK: using the distraction to change link

Link: HEY!!!!!!!! YER DEAD SKULL KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: You know what I just noticed? How often are you able to see your reflection that clearly in water?

SK: hehefloats backwards

Link: chases him through the door

Me: wait a sec.WHERE THE HECK ARE THOSE STUPID FARIES NOW?!?!?!

Faries: sleeping

Me: aww how cute. BUT ITS RONG!!!!TATL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tatl: what?

Me: YER SUPPOSED TO PREVENT LINK FROM GOING THROUGH THAT DOOR!!! REMEMBER?!?!THEN YOU GET STUCK!?!?!

Tatl: Oh yea.

Me:CAN WE PLEASE DO THIS CRAP RIGHT ALREADY?!?!?!


	4. THE CRAZIENESS!

Disclaimer: I DON'T CARE ANYMORE THAT YOU DON'T HELP ME!!I'M GONNA CONTINUE ON!!!i think I can do this.  
  
And I don't think I'm gonna continue being that no one cares about this story anymore. I think this may be my last chapter. Just review and help me please.(ya this may be sappy. I don't need yer help. I'm not a weakling. So nvm. I'm gonna continue) LINK RULES FOREVER!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: y thank you.  
  
(deku link chases after SK)  
  
Link:GET YO AZZ BACK HERE SKULL KID!!!!  
  
(Tael follows the skull kid and tatl stopps link)  
  
Tatl: where the heck do you think yer going?  
  
Link: is that your makeup that zelda's screwin around with over there?  
  
Tatl: *turns*huh?  
  
Link: sucker.*runs past her into the door.  
  
Me: *smacks self in head  
  
Link: whad I do now?  
  
Me: the rong thing genius. Only what you have been doing THIS WHOLE *&(*IN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: WELL SCREW YOU TOO!  
  
Me: Tatl just stop him.  
  
Tatl: *stops link in his tracks.*where you think yer going.  
  
Link: no place particular. Just following the evil dude into the place so I can get my ocarania back and then kill him while I'm at it. Got a problem with that?  
  
Tatl: yea I got a problem! What you think yer a hotshot now cuz you beat gannon? You aint black. You aint all that!(not to diss black ppl or anything. Just that they are tougher then most ppl. Lol)  
  
Link: You aint black either so don't you be doin that hand crap in my face like you all that and $h!t like that. (as they argue about how cool black ppl are, the door closes)  
  
both: aww crap.  
  
Tatl: I guess we'll have to team up to kick ass now  
  
Link: YOU WISH LOSER YER ON YER OWN. ITS YER OWN FAULT THAT YOU STOPPED ME. DON'T BE GIVIN ME NO SAD CRAP ABOUT YOU LOSING YER BROTHER AND LOVER.  
  
Tatl: it's the directors fault cuz he made me. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT SK IS MY LOVER. JUST CUZ YOU WANNA DO HIM AND-  
  
Me: getting a little graphical  
  
Tatl: he he. Sowwie.  
  
Link: she's right tho. It is yer fault that I havent' gotten to the sk. So now I'm afraid I have to woop on yer ass.  
  
Me:umm. you see. i. Hey Look Theres An Antelope!!!  
  
(they look)  
  
Me: *runnin away* SUCKERZ!!!!  
  
(Plantumbreon continues running until he runs into a pole)  
  
Me: SON OF A-  
  
Link: maybe we should team up*Plantumbreon is knocked out*  
  
Tatl: pee in his face first.*giggles outrageously  
  
Link: maybe I should.*thinks for a minute  
  
Me: try it and I woop yer ass.  
  
Link: I thought u were dead.  
  
Me: just go on.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: k. I don't feel like writing anymore. I got stuck watching that spongebob crap with my cousin and now my brains leakin out of my ears. I gotta do my otha story too. C ya all! 


	5. THE STUPIDNESS!

Disclaimer: YOU NO WHAT? I DON'T CARE IF YOU R&R OR NOT. I LIKE TYPING THESE FICS. NO MATTER IF YOU FLAME ME, I WILL CONTINUE ON!  
  
  
  
Me: *wakes up* k now. Lets do this right  
  
All: k  
  
(Tatl and link run into the next room)  
  
Link:*continues running as Tatl stays behind  
  
(link reaches end as Tatl rushes to him)  
  
Tatl: Hey. sorry about all that crap I gave you back there. It was really evil of me  
  
Link: evil fairy. Hehe  
  
Tatl: HEY! I'M POURING MY SOUL OUT AND THE LEAST BULL $|-| I ``|`` YOU CAN DO IS LISTEN YOU STUPID-  
  
Me: getting a little to evil there tatl.  
  
Tatl: woops!  
  
Link: you were saying?  
  
Tatl: well, I need your help. That skull kid back there, I may no where he is. So take me with you.  
  
Link: Sure (but when I find him your ass is gone)  
  
Tatl: HEY!  
  
(Link gets to a flower pad and looks down at it)  
  
Tatl: duck down into it and you can fly.  
  
Link: I've always wanted to fly. That will be neato. I can finally talk to birds and meet some new friends. YAY!  
  
Tatl: I MEANT JUMP IN THE AIR AND GLIDE FOR A SHORT WHILE YOU LONER!  
  
Link: Aww. But the birdies  
  
Tatl: THEY WOULDN'T LIKE YOU'RE SORRY LONER ASS ANYWAYS.  
  
(Zelda, Malon, Ruto, and Naboru come in)  
  
Girls: WTF ARE YOU DOING TRASH TALKING POOR LITTLE LINK LIKE THAT?! OUR LOVE IS GONNA HELP YOU AND YOU START TO CUSS HIM OUT! DON'T MAKE US GO ALL BIATCHY ON YOU!  
  
Tatl: IT'S HIS OWN $(#*IN FAULT THAT HE IS SO STUPID!  
  
Girls:*tackle Tatl and start to kick her fairy ass  
  
Me: HEY! TOPSAY ON THE IGHTINGFAY*takes bucket of water and splashes all the girls  
  
Girls:*start screaming like little.never mind  
  
Me:*gets a can of raid and sprays all of them*get your little screaming butts out of hear so we can continue on!  
  
Girls:. Fine w/e  
  
Link:*starts to fly on his little flowers  
  
Tatl: About time you learned it.  
  
Link: I knew the whole time. I just wanted to give you a hard time. Lol  
  
Tatl: YOU SNEAKY SON OF A GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: lol  
  
Link:*finds a treasure chest and finds deku nuts in it  
  
Tatl: those deku nuts are-  
  
Link:-the type that you like  
  
Tatl: HEY!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: lol  
  
(link and tatl finally get to the last platform and find a tree)  
  
Tatl: look at this tree. It looks so sad. Wot ever it did, it's its own fault. Stupid thing looks like its in pain. It got wot it diserved.  
  
Link: yer so mean  
  
Tatl: I did say I was an evil fairy  
  
Link: hehe.  
  
(Link and Tatl walk into a cave and it starts to spin)  
  
Link: Crap, I'm getting dizzy and sick and...*runs to bathroom. Distant hurling can be heard  
  
Me:. LINK! GET OVER HERE! YOU NOT DONE.sorry ppl but I'm gonna have to end this chapter till we get our hero back. 


	6. THE WE'RE THERE NESS!

(Link comes back in, green faced)

Me: ready to continue you carsick little piece of horse brain?

Link: shrugs

Me: WELL YOU'D BETTER BE READY YOU LITTLE 2 YR OLD HERO (that fact still haunts me)

(Link hurries on thru the next room and gets thru w/o hurling)

Link: runs up stairs gotta go kill the evil thing

(Psycho laughter from behind, Link turns around)

Smiling Jock: Looks like your in quite a predicament

Link: well, I'm transformed into a damn deku scrub, my horse is once again in the glue factory, my ocarina is stolen, I've never felt better. at least he didn't kill me.

Smiling Jock: well, I'm a mask salesman, and i can remove that body which you are in. I can also move faster than sonic on LSD...OBSERVE MY NEVERENDING FREAKYNESS!

Link: sweet. gimme my old body before I kick your little smiling ass

Mask salesman: you need the thing that was stolen from you before i can restore you

Link: DAMMIT! THERES ALWAYS A DAMN CATCH IN EVERYTHING! I CAN NEVER JUST GET WHAT I WANT W/O HAVING TO DO SOME CHORES!

Me: what is with this angle? It looks like the mask salesman has his pants down....

MS: then maybe i shouldn't tell you what else.........

Link: anime fall, starts twitching

Tatl: anime falls, however fairies do that

MS: i really need the mask that an imp stole from me. he may be wearing it

Link: at least it aint outta my way exits room into clock town

(link looks around)

Link: i never just get why the heck the camera view changes and the words on the screen "south clock town" appear in midair

Me: you're not supposed to no that link (dumbass)

Link: Moo

Me: I SAY MOO YOU DUMBASS! ARGG! tackles link and beats the transexuality outta him

Link: gets up with cuts and bruises and runs away like a little girl

Me: calls AND YOU LOOK AND DRESS LIKE ONE TOO!

Link: now what the fuxx am i supposed to do you stupid fairy? looks around

Me: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO NOW TATL?!

Tatl: comes in with another cappuchino

Me: I hope you brought enough cappuchino for everyone...

Tatl: looks around I didn't know there'd be so many

Me: gets a can of raid and sprays tatl

Tatl: CRAP! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!! Gasp gasp...

Disclaimer: YAY! i mean.........oh its so sad snicker tatl is indesposed so we cannot continue on with this chapter chuckle c ya peeps later. i gotta work on my other stories.lol


	7. THE WE'VE GOTTEN NOWHERE NESS!

Disclaimer: PEEPS! THANX YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GOOD REVIEWS. I HOPE YOU PPL KEEP REVIEWING! THIS IS THE BEST SHIT I'VE EVER DONE! I HOPE YOU KEEP READING!

(Link and Tatl run to the center of clock town)

Link: I stand corrected.

Tatl: what do you mean?

Link: I said in the last chapter that the Skull kid hadn't killed me and if you look up, you see a big ass moon that's about to fall on us all.

(wet stuff drops on link)

Link: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!I'M COVERED IN MOONS SNOT!!!!!

Tatl: and you look like it too

Link: Wanna play pretend? And we're gonna pretend your the skull kid

Tatl: the skull kid...I think he's on top of the clock tower.

Link: AND HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET UP THERE?!

Tatl: lets go over to that golden flower over there.

(They get over there and a sound comes from abuv)

Voice: HEY!DONT USE THAT!

(fat deku scrub flies down with a whole lotta packages)

DS: This is my private property. Don't try using it while I'm not around!

(Link and tatl start to walk away)

Link:whisperbitch

DS:starts crying

Me: stupid deku scub. Yer not supposed to hear him

DS: flips Plantumbreon off

Me: MOTHER #($ER! takes flamethrower and burns the damn deku scrub

DS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: little #(!in thing

DS: ACK! UNDER STUDY! UNDERSTUDY!!!!!!continues burning

Me: I coulda used him as a pencil. I seriously need to start writing this during math

Deku scrub understudy:flies in

DSU:to link if you get me a moon's tear, you can have this flower pad

Me: Link, you were actually right. THINGS ALWAYS HAVE CATCHES! JUST LIKE I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT YOU LOSERS TO GET REVIEWS, AND GET POPULAR!(not preppy popular, but in outcast popular. Its working so far.lol)

Link: shaddap!

Me:throws a camera at link's head

Link: ()

Me: keep it that way too

Link:...fine...wtf am I supposed to do now stupid fairy?

Tatl: OBSERVE! MY STUPIDITY KNOWS NO BOUNDS! See the great fairy. Not even the skull kid is a match for her.

Link: fine. Whatever.

(They go to north clock town where a midget is using a blowgun to pop a balloon, and an ugly red guy with white hair wearing Kokiri clothing is dancing around like an idiot)

Linkruns to midget

Midget: wadda ya want shrimp? I'm practicing with my blowgun. Don't mess with Jim if you can't pop that balloon up there. Grrrrrr...

Link: Shrimp? I'm 1 inch taller then you. You little dog wannabe.

(Staff starts to laugh)

Jim: yea...well...umm...i...you're ugly!!!runs away crying

Link: loser.goes over to red dude

Red dude: what's this? Oh it's a forest fairy

Tatl: no shit captain obvious

RD:???my name is tingle. I sit here waiting for a fairy of my own. Even thought I'm 35

Link: ....someone needs to get laid...probably looks at young girls on his computer

Tatl: THANK YOU! I WAS TRYING NOT TO THINK OF ANYTHING GROSS THAT THIS GUY DOES! BUT YOU RUINED IT!!!

Tingle: (continues on) though my father tries to make me act my age, I continue to look for a fairy. Maybe we can be friends.

Link: no thanks, Michael Jackson.

(staff laughs outrageously)

tingle: Buy one of my maps?

Link: if by maps, you mean pornography...how much?

Tingle: 10 rupees

Link: SCREW YOU BITCH! I AINT PAYING YOU NOTHING!

Tingle: cries

Me: STOP MAKING EVERYONE CRY LINK!!!!!

Link: hmm...AHH SHUDDAP YOO STOOPID AUTHER! YOO CONT RIGHT WERTH CRAPP!!!THATS WHY YOU ARENT SPELLING THESE SENTENCES THAT I'M YELLING!

Me: burries face in arms and pretends to cry

Link: IT WORKED! YAY!

Me: stops you really think I'm that damn emotional? Dream on little girl

(Steve-o the Ninja throws various flaming ninja objects at Link)

Link: AIEE!!! MY ASS IS ON FIRE!!!starts running around like an idiot

Me: grabs link by his hair MEDIC!!!runs into the bomber's hideout and throws link into the middle of the water

Link: CRAP!starts hopping trying to get outta the water

(link sinks into the water as Tatl brings in a bag of popcorn)

Me: gimme some

Tatl: get your own

Me: don't make me get out the raid again

Tatl: ...here you go

Me: hehe. Takes the whole bag

Link:disappears and reappears at the bombers entrance

Me:wearing sunglasses and a security guard uniformWTF ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

Link: but steve-o! its me, link!

Me: I don't care if you're the president of the USA! You are not gonna stay in here! No adults, idiots, or losers allowed! And you fit that entire selection! (even though I'm 1/3, who cares) 

Link:gets kicked out so wtf am I supposed to do now?

Tatl: we were gonna go see the Great fairy. Before you got you're ass flamed

Link: oh yea.

(they go to the great fairy fountain, and no one is around)

Link: Great Fairy?

Me: where the hell is the ugly fairy?

(Staff finds GF sleeping with sk, and condoms are all over the bed)

Great Farie: Observe her stupidity, as SK overpowered me and seduced me!

SK: what are you talking about? You needed the moneys!

Me: ...END!

Disclaimer: you likey this chappy? Lol. It was five pages in Microsoft word. I think its my longest chapter.(damn). Lol. But R&R.


	8. THE FAIRYNESS!

Disclaimer: PEOPLE! I am not getting any damn reviews for my other stories!!! Why is it that no one reads my other stories? Here's the next chapter!  
  
Link:*goes tot eh Great Fairy in the fountain and there are many little fairies  
  
Fairies: oh kind one. Please help me. The skull kid has broken me apart  
  
Link: well that's your own fault isn't it?  
  
Fairies: if you find our one piece we will help you  
  
Link: FINE!*leaves  
  
Link: alright, now we gotta go find a piece of the stupid fairy who can't watch her own stupid back!  
  
Tatl: that's just like being racist against black people calling us fairies stupid!  
  
Link: IT'S A FACT OF NATURE!  
  
Tatl: *whacks link  
  
Link: oww! Stop hitting me!  
  
Tatl: don't call us fairies stupid!!!  
  
Link: FINE!!!{I hate you fairies}  
  
Tatl: *whacks him again  
  
(Link and tatl go into the laundry pool as it becomes).  
  
NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY -60 HOURS REMAIN  
  
Link: Now wtf am I supposed to do?  
  
Tatl: I DON'T KNOW DAMMIT!!!!!  
  
Link: STUPID!  
  
Tatl: look for the mother @(#$in fairy!!!  
  
Link: I hate this place!  
  
Me: STOP RUINING MY LIFE!!!  
  
Link: WHAT?  
  
Me: YOU CAN'T DO ANY THING RIGHT? CAN YOU?!  
  
Link: IT'S OBVIOUS I CAN'T!!!  
  
Me: NO SHIT!!!!!!  
  
Link: I'LL FIND THE GODDAMN FAIRY THEN!!!  
  
(Link walks over to a man playing a music box)  
  
Music man: hello dear friend. Would you like to hear my tale?  
  
Link: sure. I have nothing better to do  
  
MBM: dear guest. A long time ago there was a group of animals. They let me join their group. Do you know why? Cuz a man is an animal too my boy. But there was one think I didn't like. WHY WAS THE DOG THE LEADER!  
  
Link: your eyes are scarin the hell outta me right now...  
  
MBM: SO I STOLE IT!I STOLE THE LEADER'S MASK! Here. For a prize for being such a good listener, have this mask.  
  
Link: umm...thanx...  
  
Tatl: alrighty then... WOA LOOK AT THE TIME!!!! WE ONLY HAVE 55 HOURS LEFT! WE GOTTA GET TO THE GUY!!!  
  
Link: ahh shit!  
  
Tatl: wait... what's that over there?  
  
Link: where? *turns  
  
Tatl: IT'S THE FAIRY!!!  
  
(Link walks away from the water)  
  
Tatl: what are you doing?!  
  
Link: she's over water!  
  
Tatl: JUMP!!!!!!!!  
  
(Link jumps over the water, gets the fairy, and floats in midair)  
  
Link: ...WOA!!!  
  
Fairy: special fairy powers. Anyhoo. Take me back to the other fairies and we can help you.  
  
Me: my hand is getting tired of writing these stories in math  
  
Fairy: just take me back  
  
Me: it wont be funny cuz I just cant think of anything funny  
  
Fairy: TAKE ME BACK OR REGRET IT!!!  
  
Me: fine. Link go to the other little fairies with attitudes.  
  
(to make it short, link does)  
  
Great fairy: thank you child  
  
Link: what do I get???  
  
Fairy: I give you the ability to shoot bubbles from your nose  
  
Link: (sounds surprised) I shoot snot? To kill things?  
  
Fairy: umm...yea...thats about it  
  
Link: COOL!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: idiot  
  
Link:*shoots Plantumbreon with snot  
  
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Plantumbreon beats the shit outta Link)  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Havin fun ppl? Link's gotta go to the hospital cuz of what I did. Lol. And I gotta write my other story until I get to my first songfic. Read it. Its Zelda, you may like it. 


	9. THE,,,WAIT,,,I GOT THIS,,,OOH OOH! I KNO...

Disclaimer: sorry for the delay peeps. I bet half of you have just recently read the other chapters. But it dun matter. Enjoy.  
  
Tatl: I GOT IT!!!  
  
(Link's reading a comic book)  
  
Link: About time  
  
Tatl:*flips Link off  
  
Link: How do you do things like that if you don't have arms or hands?  
  
Tatl:*shrugs  
  
Me: talking. Oh...kay...  
  
Link: so what where you saying?  
  
Tatl: let's pop that midget's balloon.  
  
Link: About time you figured that out  
  
Tatl: you knew?  
  
Link: yea  
  
Tatl: WELL WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!?!  
  
Link: you are the fairy. Not me  
  
Me: smacks self in head*smacks self in head  
  
Link: and what the hell are you doing?  
  
Me: talking. Whenever I do a verb, I say what I'm doing.  
  
Link: why?  
  
Me: talking like GIR. I HAVE NO IDEA!  
  
Link: well I'm gonna go kill the balloon now...  
  
Tatl: then go so we can turn you back into a human before we reach chapter 39943  
  
Me: talking. Does it go that far?  
  
Tatl: (like the guy from the mask) I'D LIKE TO THINK SO! HA HA HA  
  
Me: complaining. I don't think I can type that long!  
  
Karo: WORK ON MY STORY!!!  
  
Me: talking. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHY AREN'T YOU STAYING IN MY DRESS...I MEAN KOKIRI SUIT THINGY!  
  
Karo: *shrugs  
  
Me: talking. Why am I giving fairies arm and hand abilities? AND WHY DO I ALWAYS THINK OF THESE THINGS DURING MATH?!!?  
  
Karo: and why am I still here  
  
Me: yelling now. GO AWAY BAKA!!!!!!!!!!I'M GETTING NO GOOD REVIEWS CUZ I'M GETTING TOO FAR OFF THE SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!  
  
To make things short... (Link pops the balloon as it becomes...)  
  
MORNING OF THE SECOND DAY  
  
-48 HOURS REMAIN Link: well that's great!  
  
Jim: who did that?  
  
Link: I did little girl!  
  
Jim: not bad for a deku scrub  
  
Link: HAH! MY SNOT OVERRULES YOUR BLOWGUN! GET THE CRAP OUTTA HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU WICH I WILL ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jim: I can get you into my bomber's secret hideout.  
  
Link: (talking to staff) he obviously doesn't realize that I don't give a rat's ass. And that I'm gonna kill him.  
  
Jim: *sniveling* I'm trying to ignore you. You don't know what it's like to be a kid with No life. *sniff.  
  
(XplantumbreonX starts singing stupefy by disturbed)  
  
Me: singing. I've been waiting my whole life for just one*screams And all i needed was just one*screams  
  
Link: fine. I'll go into your hideout  
  
Jim: but you gotta go through our test  
  
Link: DAMMIT! ANOTHER DAMN CATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? BE GAY WITH YOU?!  
  
Jim: ...actually...no. but that's a good idea.  
  
Me: and when i feel like I'm shit out of *screams I find myself stupefied, coming back again  
  
Link: ...umm...kay...  
  
Jim: so...you wanna take it?  
  
Link: Fine!  
  
Jim: find all of us b4 morning.  
  
Link: fine.  
  
(XplantumbreonX stops singing cuz he's done)  
  
Me: talking. Let's end it here. Shall we?  
  
Disclaimer: the only reason I ended this is cuz my teacher got mad at me for writing this story during class. Lol. I have a great idea for my next chapter. It has to do with singing. Don't forget to R&R. please. If there isn't enough interest for this story. So review please! I don't want to be spamming. So tell me if you hate it so I won't write for any apparent reason! 


	10. THE TRYING TO CAPTURE THE BOMBERSNESS!

Disclaimer: When we last left off, link was searching for the little kids.(cough rape cough)  
  
Link: *flips XplantumbreonX off Disclaimer: ...umm...yeah...so let's just start this chapter of chaos!  
  
Link: okay...i think we've gotten nowhere! I have done so much stuff and accomplished NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tatl: well at least we're on the verge of a nervous breakdown  
  
Link: and that's a good thing???  
  
Tatl: Yea. Its funny  
  
Me: You know what else is funny?  
  
Link: What?  
  
Me: if we could just continue on with all this shit!  
  
Tatl: yea, you're right. You're a great writer  
  
Me: Me... a great writer? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST DID THIS TO ANNOY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!I SUCK AS A FUNNY WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: If it makes you feel better then you suck  
  
Me: *takes a knife out  
  
Link: Okay, Okay. You're a good sucky writer  
  
Me: Wahoo! An oxymoron!  
  
Tatl: Can we go now?  
  
Link: 'kay  
  
(Link runs into west clock town)  
  
Tatl: That chicken. I never heard a chicken bawk over here  
  
Link: well it must be a bomber  
  
Tatl: must be  
  
Me: WILL YOU STOP SAYING THE OBVIOUS AND JUST GO!?!?!?  
  
Link: *goes to bomber and covers him in snot  
  
Bomber: eww...I'm covered in snot  
  
Me: *shakes head slowly  
  
Link: you're tagged too  
  
Bomber: DAMMIT  
  
Link: oooo...he cussed.  
  
(Bomber kid's mom comes in)  
  
BKM: JEFFEREY!!!! HOW DARE YOU!  
  
Bomber: uhh...hi mommy...one who I love dearest...  
  
BKM: YOU'RE COMING HOME THIS MINUTE!!!!!  
  
(Mom drags kid out of the set)  
  
Me: well at least we didn't need him  
  
(Link runs to the clock town Inn and sees Anju)  
  
Link: hey babay...how about me and you get sum milk and talk about...stuff ;) *does clicking noise  
  
Anju: umm...I'm sorry...but I'm sort of seeing someone.  
  
Link: damn.once again I'm turned down from hitting on a girl.I'm so depressed -_-;  
  
Anju: his name is Kafei...he disappeared about a month ago...  
  
Link: well, in about 9 days from now, which will be now, but cuz of my special ocarina abilities which was given to me by Zelda, who I repress myself from hitting on, but that's a whole 'nother story......I'll be back here but you wont notice, and you wont remember me ^^  
  
Anju: ...  
  
Link: *.*  
  
Anju: *hugs link* I just love the little loud mouth ones ^^  
  
Link: X_X I'm in heaven!  
  
Anju: well can you help me or not?  
  
Link: I will right now, which in my book will be 9 days  
  
Anju: oh thank you!  
  
Link: *goes to the roof through the stairs* I'm such a lucky son of a bitch ^^  
  
Tatl: well yea.how else would your mom have had you?  
  
Link:....what?  
  
Tatl: never mind ^^ tee hee  
  
Link: OOH! BOMBER!!!!  
  
Bomber: ahh shit!  
  
Link: I WILL COVER YOU IN SNOT!!!*blows bubble, but Tatl gets in way  
  
Tatl: damnit! I'm stuck in snot again!  
  
Me: damn! Right when we were starting to make some damn progress!!!  
  
Tatl: its not me...its you  
  
Me: funny...that's what my girlfriend said to me this morning...I think she wants some sex ;)  
  
Tatl: well that's nice, NOW GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE (sacrificing my once in a pg-13 really bad cuss word)  
  
Me: fine...KEL!  
  
(Kel from Kenan and Kel comes in...god knows how)  
  
Kel: yea?  
  
Me: get me a sponge, a screwdriver, and some doughnuts and meet me back at Madame Aroma's*leaves  
  
Kel: but...but...XplantumbreonX...I don't know where to get a sponge! They scare me! And I'm only supposed to listen to Kenan...XplantumbreonX....XplantumbreonX? aww...here goes!*exits  
  
Disclaimer: if you have no idea what the hell went on here, then watch Kenan and Kel, brought to you by nickelodeon (those two timin' bastards...took away Invader Zim for Spongebob....) 


	11. THE PSYCHOTIC I STILL EXIST NOT FUNNYNES...

Me: Crap, I've got some good news and some bad news...

Link: What did you do this time?

Me: bad news is that we're all going to die in a few years' time

Link: and...

Me: good news is, I just saved money on my auto insurance

Link: Okay, enough TV for you....

Tatl: how many bomber kids do we have to find now?

Link: ...looks at last chapters ...I don't know...

Me: throws in sack

Link: what's this?

Me: All the bomber kids wrapped up and ready to be killed I MEAN--- delivered....i swear, you

owe me big for this, link. I walked in on them having a MASSIVE orgy....

Link: yay! Now I get the password!!!! (Link is suddenly looking at a scarecrow)

Scarecrow: Dance with me and time will pass in the blink of an eye

Link: Fine Scarecrow starts dancing

Link: where the fuck is that music coming from 

Link: and why the hell do things seem to be going so fast....

Scarecrow: BWAHAHA! FALL VICTIM TO MY GAYNESS! THINGS GO FASTER WHEN YOU'RE IN

ECSTACY!!!!!!

Link: I'd rather not get with a straw dildo...

48 Hours, motha fuxxor!!!!!!1111

Link: Hokay, here's the earth...chilling...dayum, that's a sweet earth you might say

Wraong! Okay ruling out the ice capes melting, O-zone layer leaving us, meteors becoming crashed into us or the sun exploding, that moon is definitely gonna kill us.... Ho-kay

Me: ....sad, this is the kid we're relying on to save us....

Link: ...the question remains, how the fuxx am I talking, if I'm a piece of wood?

Me: it's a game. Don't ask questions.

Link: whatever, sucka. gives password to midget

Midget: whatever, I'm going to sleep

Link: walks into hideout and meets up with scarecrow again are you following me?

Scarecrow: Matter of fact, I am.

Link: fine, I'll dance.

36 hours left, sucka MC!

Me: and that, kiddies, is the revival of Steve-o the ninja, and his majora's mask stuffage...

I hope you people enjoyed it.


	12. THE REVIVAL!

Oh yea, the great steve-o the ninja is back making some more random crap that comes when he gets bored in math...

That crazy ninja...anyways, yea new chapter for quite some time... enjoy.

Link enters bomber's fortress.

Link: Ack! Water! I can only jump a few times, then I sink!

Me: Speaking of which, if you're wood, why can you not float?

Tatl: Well, there's a rock in his head for compensation for his brain, so it causes him to

sink

Link: yea! wait...

Tatl: so if this is the Bomber's hideout, why hasn't anything exploded?

Link: steps on conveniently placed landmine

Me: I love that part...

Skulltula: attacks

Link: Ack! You guys are as annoying as Navi!

Link Z-targets and asks Tatl about the Skulltula

Tatl: OMG SCARCASM! STUFFAGE THAT SEEMS OBVIOUS, LIKE SHIGERU

MIYAMOTO EXPECTED YOU TO PLAY THE FIRST GAME!111

Link: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE runs through

Link: Die skull kid balloon!

SKB: shoots air at Link

Link: dies

Me: Oh c'mon! It's fucking air! How do you get hurt from that!

Tatl:...he's just asleep.

Me: throws mmask man at him

Link: ACK! ULTRA FAST GUY ON TOP OF ME GETTING IN SEXUAL

POSITIONS FASTER THAN LIGHT!

Mask man: sees balloon MY MASK!

Mask man's stupidity causes him to leap after mask, trying to obtain it, but balloon

explodes.

Mask man: x.x

Link sneaks by

Link: Oh great, not the scarecrow again.

Scarecrow: Yes, it's me! My crows left me, so I'm hoping you'll get on top of me.

Link: backs away slowly and runs

Tatl: You can't hide your feelings from him forever.

Link: Tatl...meet my cat...cat...meet your dinner.

Cat: attacks

Tatl runs screaming off set.

Link goes to astronomer, who is drunk for no apparent reason.

Astronomer-hic- Hey! I recognize you from kakariko village...-hic- member me-hic-

I'm the crazy guy who ranted on about the well-hic- and the conveniently placed lens in there –hic- that helped you in your quest...-hic-

Link: I'm scared.

Astronomer: Which reminds me about that one time... -hic- it's so far back, it can only be

explained in sepia toned. note that this really has nothing to do with anything So...near

future, there's this thing called the internet. Techmanology caused it so that people

everywhere can talk to eachother via this thingamabob called the compooter. So...a guy

named steve-o the ninja wanted to rule the world with an iron fist... so he did. So us

helpless people looked to Robin to save us all. They battled on aim...such battling they

did...so much e-schmacking and walloping with fish. Woo, those were horrible times...so

many bytes died. So robin eventually blew up the world so no one would have to suffer

any more...

-hic- I'm reaaaaaly drunk falls over

Link:...looks through telescope

Skull kid: I feel like dancing...gonna dance the night away...oo lookie at that moon

Moon: I'm so fat...no one loves me...I have a horrible eating disorder...life sucks...I'm

going bulimic, and being that I don't have a stomach, I lose weight from crying.

Tear: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEsplat

Ground: OWWWW!

Telescope: now watch me looks so far down, it's impossible in the real life.

Randomly placed Morpheus: I'm so cool, my glasses hold themselves up.

Skull Kid: Slapping my ass...can't live without slapping that ass of mine.

Link: goes outside and grabs moon's tear

Link: OO HOT HOT HOT! plays hot potato with himself

Moon: You wanna know what it was like shitting that thing out?

Me: for the rest of the game, I shall be playing the Bohemian rhapsody.

Link: breaks stereo

Tatl: breaks wrist

Me: UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Link: well excuse me princes

Link: excuse...excuse...excuse

Link: excu...excu...excu...

Link. U-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u

world explodes

disclaimer...not that funny of a chapter this time...

But ja, if you're confused by the end, go to  me laugh...but yea, I'm hoping to get my games back, so I can play, and remember some more stuff in the game...

Thanks for reading...


End file.
